Emily Bashforth

I'm a firm believer in the idea that life gets indescribably better as soon as you stop apologising for things. I mean, if you accidentally walk into someone on the street or you say something that hurts someone's feelings, definitely apologise. But, when it comes to existing in you body, that is, without doubt, the last thing you should be apologising for.

Eating disorder recovery comes with having to hear uncomfortable truths about the way you think about your body and the dangerous habits you've picked up, and actually accepting those things and rewiring your brain to think differently, can be really difficult when you've lived a certain way for so long and are suddenly forced to challenge everything you've ever known.

It’s completely normal for our bodies to change as we age, grow and have various life experiences, good and bad. But we’ve got it into our heads that our bodies aren’t meant to change as society seems to demonise changed bodies and puts unrealistic pressure on us to remain young, wrinkle-free, void of grey hairs and slim for our whole lives, which is completely impossible and largely aimed at women.

I have a lot of issues with my body image and my overall relationship with my body, and I have struggled with an eating disorder since the age of 12, however, I am also extremely privileged, and that is something I can fully recognise, even when existing in my own body feels impossible.

It's really important to be proud of your achievements, whether they're big or small. And, in eating disorder recovery, feeling proud of yourself, despite not being something that comes easily, can not only be the difference between having a good day or a bad day, but recognising your achievements can also make the whole recovery path so much smoother if you're able to give yourself credit where it's due.

I’m not one for New Years resolutions, but if I were to have one for 2020, I have set myself the aim to, throughout all of this year, be more assertive. Actually, it's more something I want to introduce into my life for the rest of my life, not just for this year, particularly as I age as a woman and go through my twenties and thirties.

I feel as though I spend my life listening to people talk about their diets. Or their weight loss. Or how many calories are in their food. Or how their clothes now look better on them. Or about their dream body. Or about their fitness regimes. Or about their meal plans. Or about their fear of being overweight. Or about their dislike for fat people. Or about their rush to get beach body ready. Or about their envy of thin people. Or some other nonsense to do with their bodies or food. And it's exhausting.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you is always important. No one wants a circle of people who drag them down and see the worst in every situation. But, when it comes to mental health and especially when you're recovering from a mental illness, the importance of having a circle of supportive, loving and understanding people cannot be stressed enough. It's so vital to have people around you who uplift you and encourage you to get better.

Going for walks is one of my favourite things in life. I just love being out in the open, breathing in the fresh air, admiring my natural surroundings and getting to clear my head. I find that getting myself out in the open air, even when I don't want to, has a massive impact on my mental health.

Following the premiere of her Netflix documentary, Miss Americana, Taylor Swift spoke to Variety about her past battle with an eating disorder and body image. After reading Taylor's words and learning what she went through, and learning of the obstacles she still faces daily, I couldn't stop thinking about what I read. Her words hit me very hard, both as a lifelong Taylor Swift fan and as someone who also suffers with an eating disorder.

Recovering from anything can seem impossible, especially because 'recovery' is made to seem like a tropical destination when it definitely isn't. Recovery isn't somewhere you can buy a plane ticket to and travel to in a few hours. Recovery is very much a lifelong battle, no matter what it is you're trying to overcome.

Food is one of THE most magical things in this world. Just think about it. Food literally keeps us alive and we would be nowhere about it, but, at the same time, it's never boring. It comes in billions of different forms, there are countless possible flavours, combinations and styles of food. It can be presented in exciting ways, on big and small scales and it exists in a variety of forms in different cultures. And, to add to that, there are new types of food being created as we speak! How amazing!

Ahh, recovery. Everyone's favourite R word. Let's talk about it, more specifically, the ugly side of it, the dark side nobody sees. Recovery from anything is such a personal thing and it's often a very brutal process so it's no surprise people don't want to share their relapses and worst moments with the world. Everyone's recovery journey looks different, even if they're fighting the exact same battle. Our brains work differently, our triggers are different, our bodies are different, our lifestyles and home situations are all different, so we all fight the war of recovery with different tools.

I don't know about you, but my social media feeds are absolutely bursting with celebrities trying to sell me stuff. Whether it's a teeth whitening kit, a pair of shoes or a holiday, some form of advert is forever popping up.

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDERS. I distinctly remember the time I first became aware of my weight. I was seven years old. My class at school were doing a science experiment which involved all of us weighing ourselves to collect data for some calculations. Everyone, specifically every girl, would be sharing what their weight was and I automatically dreaded it being my turn.

Diet culture is absolute trash. 'Dieting' isn't just something people do anymore, it's something they believe in. It's an entire belief system embedded into our society. It has completely distorted our perceptions of ourselves, our relationships with food and our opinions on health.

Pretty much everyone is a worrier. It's 2019, it's not viewed as socially cool not to be a stress head anymore. We're all ridden with anxiety, fear and have washing machine brains which spin at top speed every second of every day, propelling 'what ifs' around our heads.

Okay, so 2018 was bad, like really bad. Brexit was Brexit and Trump was, well, Trump, there were countless school shootings, new cases of sexual assault that came to light, a load of really poor choices by filmmakers, (one being casting Scarlett Johansson to play a trans person and another being creating Insatiable, a film that perpetuated 'fat shaming' culture), and... to be honest I'm already so bored of writing this sentence.

Ahh, 2018! What a year it’s been for cinema. From Fifty Shades Freed to Avengers: Infinity War, from Peter Rabbit to Ocean’s 8, the past 12 months have been jam-packed with films that gave us stitches from laughing so hard, puffy eyes from sobbing uncontrollably and a wrecked nervous system from hanging off the edge of our seats. Whether it was action, romance, comedy or horror, no film genre came to play this year but, if there’s one specific area of cinema that truly excelled in 2018 more than it has before, it was the LGBTQ+ movies.

Where to even begin with 2018 and music? It's been a jam-packed year to say the least. From rap stars taking over, to the return of old favourites, from new inventive sounds that sounded so wrong they were right, to representation, diversity, beautiful storytelling and musical madness every second of every day. 2018 has been such an exciting year for music.

"I hate myself," "I hate my life..." they're phrases we're all guilty of saying and things we read constantly on social media. It seems we live in a society where everyone is so content with feeling miserable and is so used to living a life riddled with problems that the idea of a life without problems seems so unfamiliar that it's scary.

I've never been a big meat eater, perhaps that derives from the fact that I'm just an obnoxiously picky eater. Literally, I'm that person who eats the same meal at each restaurant I eat at and if that one meal isn't on the menu, I struggle to choose anything else I want to eat.

Realising our own self-worth is a journey, for many of us, it is lifelong. Recognising our beauty, our worth and accepting that we are deserving of love isn't something that comes with the click of our fingers. It can take years of working on yourself, spending time with yourself and really exploring yourself until you reach that point of such indescribable inner happiness where you are able to wake up each morning, look in the mirror and say, "Yes, I am good enough."

When was the last time you went somewhere without your phone? Or when was the last time you went somewhere and didn't take your phone out of your pocket? When was the last time you visited a beautiful place without Snapchatting it? When was the last time you had a conversation with someone without Tweeting it? When was the last time you spoke to someone face to face instead of via text message? When was the last time you lived in the moment and not on your phone?

In a survey which ranked YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram on their impact on health and well-being of young people, it was found that YouTube had the most positive impact on mental well-being whilst Instagram was found to be the most negative.

Our world is so beautifully diverse in terms of body types. People of all shapes and sizes are out in the world every day, existing, flourishing and living their lives, sprinkling magic everywhere they go. However, if you were to pick up a magazine, or look at a billboard, or attend a catwalk show, you'd be inclined to assume that only one body type exists in the world as it seems only one type of appearance is glorified or represented as 'beautiful.'

Make-up is a fun thing, however, I've found that, as a glasses wearer, it isn't always as simple and can be frustrating. Foundation slips off your nose, your lashes catch your lenses, certain eyeshadow colours don't work and don't even get me started on having to take your glasses off to actually apply eyeshadow, meaning you can't see and really are just winging it.

Something I always look for in a make-up product is longevity. If it isn't going to last all day on my face but, instead, will slide off or look greasy after a few hours, then it isn't the one for me. I find my base to be the most important part of my whole look. It sets the foundations and provides a blank canvas for the rest of my products to go on top of. I like to have a high coverage, matte, flawless face before jazzing it up and shaping my face with bronzers, blushers, highlighters and eyeshadows to bring my skin to life.

Periods. Many people have them even though, pretty much all of the time, we wish we didn't. Some start them young and others don't get their first period until later on, whilst many get their first period between ages 12-14, all of which are totally normal! A menstrual cycle is typically 28 days, meaning a period will happen about once every month and can last 3-5 days or longer.

Woke, a word used to describe someone who is aware of current affairs and, basically, knows what’s going on in the world. The term has gained popularity since social and political movements have grown across the world and injustices are becoming more discussed amongst young people.

What's better than a good set of make-up brushes? A good set of make-up brushes that are also cruelty-free, of course! However, it can be difficult to find out which brush brands are cruelty-free even though, in today's society, you'd think all brands would see products that didn't result in the harming of animals or humans! Actually, many brands can be good at hiding the fact that they test on animals and bury the details deep down in their websites in the small print.

Who doesn't love a pair of printed trousers? Or coloured trousers? Well, okay, there are probably a lot of people who don't, however, I, for one, love them. I love how they come in a million and one different styles, colours and patterns and how the list of ways to style them really is endless. Off for a casual stroll in the park? Printed trousers are perfect. Off for a posh meal in a fancy restaurant? Printed trousers are perfect. Whatever the weather, whatever the occasion, whatever the dress code, you'll probably find that a pair of printed or coloured trousers will be the ideal companion.

Our world is advancing every day where abortion is concerned. Ireland voted this year to repeal one of the strictest bans on abortion, consequently, making abortion legal, resulting in a victory for women who shared their stories, marched, protested, put themselves at risk by speaking out, but also for those who were unable to speak out. Votes like these are in memory of those who have died at the hands of illegal, unsafe abortions as it means, in their countries, future generations will not have to suffer like they did.

Comparing ourselves to others is something we have been conditioned into doing and that takes up so much of our time. It seems almost impossible for us to go a day without wishing we could look like someone else, or even just be that person entirely.

As someone who has attended many concerts, I understand the struggle. I understand the mammoth task of wanting to wear a nice make-up look that you like but also worrying about how you're going to look at the end of the night. If you're anything like me, concerts will make you cry, dance around like crazy, sweat more than you care to admit and turn your foundation into butter within the first five minutes.

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Taylor Swift. That memory is firmly etched into my brain. It was 2009. I was watching my tiny TV in my bedroom. I had the music channel on and watched as the presenter counted down the official chart.

With new world issues arising every day and with society becoming increasingly more divisive, whether that's through racism, sexism, homophobia or other forms of oppression, speaking out and fighting for equality are more important than ever. Thankfully, the world isn't short of activists who want to make a difference.

The feminism movement is all about bringing about equality for everyone. It isn't a one dimensional thing which should only fight for the rights and recognition of human beings who fit into a certain box. Feminism ought to be intersectional and, if it isn't, it isn't wanted.

Looking for inspiration, motivation or fulfilment? Then look no further than a good old TED talk to set you up for the day ahead and make you feel able to conquer just about anything. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design and features "ideas worth spreading." The speaker series launched in 1984, and there are now thousands of TED talks available at your fingertips online.

"Love your body! You deserve to!" we hear all of the time, however, no matter how much we preach it or have it preached to us, we all know that it's much easier said than done. Saying "Yeah, I will" is far simpler than actually committing to the act of loving every inch of your body without regret or shame.

Most of us wear clothes every day and the clothing we wear tells stories about who we are... well, personally, I live in my pyjamas most of the time and the story they tell about me is that I'm lazy but, when I'm not wearing my PJs, I believe in using clothing as a form of self expression.

Some moments, some experiences, are just so overwhelmingly perfect that it's impossible to describe them using words. Some days, some nights of your life just feel like such an amalgamation of everything you could've possibly ever wanted that trying to explain how incredible they were to someone else is too difficult.

I have often wondered what we are greeted with as we ascend to Heaven and the gates open, however, on Thursday 15th March, I came pretty close to experiencing that very thing as I attended Niall Horan's Flicker World Tour in Manchester and living proof that angels do exist stood right in front of me.

Social media is saturated with negativity and hostility these days. Something that started off so pure and exciting has become toxic in the sense that people use it to anonymously hate on people they know nothing about and express pessimistic unasked for opinions. People also use social media to their own detriment, as they allow unrealistic body images to brainwash them into believing they must look a certain way and they also use it to put themselves down.

Being an ally to marginalised communities is so much more than just being a decent person. It's also so much more than not doing things. For example, being an ally isn't about not being racist, not being homophobic and not being transphobic. Being an ally is about actively working to dismantle institutions which oppress minorities and supporting them on the journey to equality.

Teenage girls are the most powerful demographic in the world. Not only because we make up a large portion of society but simply because of the ways we exist, how we treat people, how we express our love for things and how we act upon injustice.

The term 'slut' is thrown around left, right and centre to label women who engage in frequent sexual activity with strangers. It's also used to refer to women who wear little clothing. It's also used to speak about women who lose their virginity at a young age. It's also used when talking about women who enjoy flirting. In fact, the word 'slut' is an umbrella term used to label and demean pretty much every woman.

"There is a kind of strength that is almost frightening in black women. It's as if a steel rod runs right through the head down to the feet" is a quote by Maya Angelou... and she was correct. If the world were a machine, black women would be the cogs which kept it functioning.

Language is our primary form of communication, therefore, it's vital that everyone feels included within it. All too often, those who identify as transgender, non-binary or gender fluid are excluded from the conversation because the words being used don't accommodate for them. These people will always be part of our society so it's time to start combating institutions which ignore and silence them and, instead, ensuring they are fully integrated into all aspects of society.

To read is to exist. Reading helps shape us as people and educates us on the world in which we live. Reading about feminism is especially important to help us learn more about the movement so we can better ourselves as advocates for equality.

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about me

Emily • 20 • England

Writing. Intersectional feminism. Positivity. Self love. Equality.

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